Zoo of Eden

As Girl’s favourite (time-leeching) vloggers all say… “Hi guys!”

For readers above the age of 40, a vlogger is like a blogger but more excited and they use video (hence the ‘v’) instead of writing.

For readers above the age of 40, a blogger is.. (joke!).

Anyway. The Kids and I are still on the island of Ko Chang. We’re now in our third room/bungalow near Lonely Beach, but the consumption of pancakes has remained stable, I’m pleased to report.

After leaving our pleasant-but-damp first room, I heard the Kids mumbling something about “treating ourselves for a few days”. What this actually meant was “we’ve left it too late to find affordable accommodation so we’re going to spend double our daily budget and tell ourselves that we deserve it.” Either way, the end result was spectacular. We stayed at a lovely bungalow resort called Little Eden which is carved a few hundred metres into the jungle from Lonely Beach.

Little Eden was definitely the best place we’ve stayed so far. Set in picturesque grounds, our bungalow was small but comfortable with air-conditioning, a fridge and a spacious terrace that included a hammock as well as tables, chairs…

…and animals.

Even though we booked a private bungalow, several different species of animal appeared to be under the impression that our room was, in fact, a shared dormitory.

Boy’s favourites were the lizzards. A bunch of them would hang around on the terrace ceiling each evening lazily catching flies whenever they could be bothered. To my and Girl’s amusement and bewilderment, we frequently found Boy standing outside in the dark staring (and grinning moronically) as the lizzards got on with their task of sitting very still and doing absolutely nothing.

The cats provided the best entertainment during our stay at Little Eden. Boy is a self-confessed cat lover and he soon lulled them into a false sense of security by stroking their heads and letting them sit on his knee while he worked his way through yet another of the huge books that he has been carting around Asia.

The most mysterious of our animal housemates never showed its face or paws at all. Instead, each night – just as Boy and Girl would be trying to get to sleep and I would be peacefully contemplating the merits and drawbacks of separating church and state in a developed, democratic western society to benefit the assimilation of people from diverse geographic and religious backgrounds – we would suddenly hear a scratching sound from within the walls of the room.

As you can imagine, this freaked Girl out, leading to the entertaining spectacle of a very sleepy Boy banging on different parts of the wall (but not too hard…wouldn’t want to punch a hole in it) and trying to ensure there weren’t any small-unidentified-animal-sized holes to let our visitor into the inner sanctum. I’m not sure whether teddy bears can be prosecuted for complicity with unethical warfare against animals so I cannot possibly confirm or deny rumours that Boy was able to successfully quieten the animal down by spraying deodorant through little gaps in the woodwork.

Apart from animal intrigue, my favourite activity so far in Ko Chang took place on Sunday when The Kids and I went on a boat trip to several beautiful neighbouring islands. The Kids were able to get a lot of snorkeling in despite the hoards of Thai tourists who didn’t know how to swim but enjoyed getting into large floating groups clinging desperately to two lifejackets each. I’m too old to be dealing with that shit so I just chilled in the rucksack mainly. I’m just really, really disappointed that The Kids didn’t include me in any of their photos. I think they were ashamed which is really bizarre because Thai people love me! 

Oh well. We’re now enjoying our first night in the much cheaper (but still quite nice) Seaflower Bungalows. Girl is still in a good mood because she hasn’t spotted the ants in the bathroom yet and I watched Boy eating an entire bag of Haribo Gold Bears (so insensitive) this evening, so he’s positively buzzing.

Right, I need to get my beauty sleep. Talk to you soon!



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