Guess Who’s Back

Well that was a bit of an interlude, wasn’t it? Quite a lot has happened since we last spoke. To put it as briefly as possible, I’m fully blaming The Kids for somehow contriving to turn October on a sunny beach in Thailand into March in snowy Prague (yes that’s right, it’s bloody snowing).

Let me explain. Everything was going so well. Boy was halfway towards fulfilling his dream of being a ‘digital nomad’ (pretentious way of saying freelancer in flipflops) and Girl spent her time lazing on the beach while occasionally ordering Boy to the shop to buy ice cream. Life was good.

And then all of a sudden I’m being crammed back into the suitcase of death along with a motley crew of luggage items that only an insane person would take with them on a journey from Europe to Asia (scarves, coats….and a blender ffs!) and flying ‘slave class’ on a long-haul flight back in the direction we had originally come from.

With my buddies: František, Eliška, Deža and who-knows…

So why the sudden about turn? Why abandon the glorious weather, oodles of free time and  smiley people to return to a country where the only thing colder than the average person’s facial expression is the disastrous weather freezing their scowls into muscle memory.

Fucked if I know.

Well actually, I have a theory. Girl’s mum makes world class goulash – it smells so good I sometimes wish I had taste buds of my own – and there’s no doubt that Girl missed it terribly – but who really knows. Boy’s occasional habit of working for free (I’ll tell you another time) certainly can’t have helped the money situation either and I heard a lot of naughty words whenever The Kids were discussing KLM’s flight rebooking policies (or lack thereof).

Anyway. We’re back now and life has certainly gone to the other extreme. I’ll give the Kids some credit for finding a cosy apartment in the charmingly ugly Zizkov district of Prague where dog poo and graffiti compete to add some much needed colour to the local streets.

Boy has surprised everyone by going full-on corporate (I heard him talk about “moving forward” and “deliverables” on the phone the other day and wanted to slap his face with my angry little paws) after previously claiming he didn’t even want to work in an office. The poor lost soul even bought an ironing board the other day… and he actually uses it!

Girl has also found herself a new job which she always talks about in a refreshingly enthusiastic and positive way.

Not really. But at least she has taken to making the apartment pretty by filling it with flowers and decorations. Shame that Boy keeps messing it up with an almost constant wave of little hairs that seem to be invisible to the male human eye (but from the angry shouts, they’re definitely visible to the human female eye).

So, I suppose this makes me the only blogging teddy bear in Prague. No more beaches and tropical animals for a while but I’ll keep you posted on the parks, cafes, restaurants and museums (ok that last one was a joke) to which I succeed in dragging the Kids. If I’m lucky they might get their acts together and book a summer holiday soon too.



Zoo of Eden

As Girl’s favourite (time-leeching) vloggers all say… “Hi guys!”

For readers above the age of 40, a vlogger is like a blogger but more excited and they use video (hence the ‘v’) instead of writing.

For readers above the age of 40, a blogger is.. (joke!).

Anyway. The Kids and I are still on the island of Ko Chang. We’re now in our third room/bungalow near Lonely Beach, but the consumption of pancakes has remained stable, I’m pleased to report.

Continue reading

Beach, please


Just checkin’ in to say/gloat that the Kids and I finally made it to the beach. As I write this we’re gazing out to sea from the terrace of a cafe not far from Lonely Beach in Ko Chang, Thailand. The island is edging towards the end of its low season so the whole place is actually rather lonely at the moment, but apparently this area gets quite energetic when the backpackers stream in from November onwards. Continue reading

The South East Asian Haze Strikes

Hello everyone!

SO. It’s been an eventful few days to say the least. Last time we spoke, I was chilling in a cafe in Kuala Lumpur contemplating our imminent trip to a Malaysian island called Langkawi, where the Kids had reserved us a beautiful guest house close to the beach with a spacious garden, hammocks and lots of pussy (give yourself a slap, I’m talking about kittens). Continue reading


Hello from misty/smoggy/dangerously-polluted Kuala Lumpur!

The Kids and I have been in the Malaysian capital since Wednesday. The arrival was smooth enough up to the point of exiting the LRT (Light Rail Transit) station closest to the hotel, at which point Boy and Girl’s sense of direction disintegrated in the humid rain leading to, you guessed it, an onslaught of tutting from Her Royal Girlness and squabbling over which way to go. As usual Girl was right. Continue reading